Re: [Mid] Vituperousness on the Bridge

On Thu, 15 Jan 1998, Sally Burnell wrote:

>
> I would further add that while I am not defending anyone in particular
> here, I am merely speaking from several decades experience in the SCA.
> This Society was created as an alternative to the rude brash world we
> live in day to day, a place to escape where all were noble, kind,
> chivalrous, courteous and honorable. If we have forgotten that, we need
> to sit down and examine why, and how we can return to the values that
> built the SCA. I would ask your humble forgiveness if I have offended
> anyone. I am merely a dreamer who set upon a path some 20 years ago - a
> path that of late has grown thorny and full of bristles. This is not the
> path I intended to walk. Nor, would I imagine, was it the path that many
> of you intended to walk, either.
>

        I both agree and disagree with you. You have not offended, and I
hope my words do not offend in turn, but this is a sore topic with me and
I feel it is both important and relevant.

        As a "newcomer" (still only 5 yrs.) I may not understand our
society as well as you, but I do know what drew me to it. I saw a place
where honor, chivalry and courtesy were ideals everyone strove for. Where
we stood together one and all to cherish our dreams. Where even mortal
foes could beat the snot out of each other by day and drink together at
night.

        I also saw a place where no one would stand by and watch others be
victimized. Where those in a position of strength could aid those in a
position of weakness, and no one need fear the depradations of another. We
are trained as children to ignore those who would make our lives
miserable, in the hopes they will get bored and go away. What this
attitude fails to acknowledge is that words still sting, whether we
respond to them or not, and when one is highly skilled at manipulating
words they can cut to the bone. Verbal abuse is a very real thing.

        On a computer words are somewhat easier to deal with than in real
life. That's what the delete key is for. But as we are a chivalrous and
honorable society, we welcome the words of all strangers without
judgement. It is by those words alone we judge them. So we read, and if
the words we read are not friendly conversation but viscious attacks, we
are wounded.

        Holding my peace during the Dunphy Incident was not easy. And if
the problem had not taken care of itself quickly I would not have been
able to do it. However, because several gentles replied to his
viscousness, and he attacked them all in turn, we were able to recognize
him for what he is and band together to remove him from our sight.

        We are a chivalrous and honorable society, and I believe strongly
that all have their right to dream as they will. However, by the very
nature of how we stand we cannot allow one whose only goal is to make
others miserable to stand in our midst. His views differed not only from
ours, but from his own. He contradicted himself numerous times. He wasn't
expressing opinions, he was blatantly and effectively attacking the
opinions of others, and took whatever stance was necessary at the time to
do it. Even when he pretended to agree he took the opportunity to insult
the person he was agreeing with.

        If there were a fighter who tripped and grappled his opponents and
struck his allies from behind his card would be revoked faster than you
can blink. But only if someone reported him to a marshal. If every fighter
simply said "that's just his way and we should be tolerant of others" the
problem would never be solved and he would go on being a danger to all
around him. He might even become king someday.

        There will always be those who try to make others miserable simply
for the pleasure it brings them. And our society is particularly
vulnerable to that kind of behavior. We were founded on ideas of common
courtesy, respect, and openness to all comers, and there are those who
would abuse that friendliness. If we are to remain a kind, chivalrous and
honorable people we cannot allow this kind of behavior to continue.

        We should be tolerant of those who disagree with us, and forgiving
of those who offend us, or we cannot exist as a society, but causing pain
for its own sake is not acceptable behavior. Maybe that view is a little
constrictive for some people and smacks of fascism, but I, personally,
would sooner see deliberate malice dealt with quickly and directly. Not
ignored in the hopes that it will go away.

        More than my two cents,

        Corwyn Draca,
        Shire of Mynydd Seren

From: Aaron Bilodeau <abilodea@indiana.edu>
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Received on Fri Jan 16 11:12:44 1998