[Mid] Out of the mouth of babes

This is offtopic I know, and I hope it doesn't offend anyone, but
you know kids...they say the darndest things--M.Siobhan

***

The following statements about the bible were written by children:

In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of
creating the
world, so he took the Sabbath off.

Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.

Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.

Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by
night!

The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had
trouble
with the unsympathetic Genitals.

Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel
like Delilah.

Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened
bread which is bread without any ingredients.

The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses
went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.

The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

Moses died before he ever reached Canada.

Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to
stand still and he obeyed him.

David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought
with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical
times.

Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the
Magna
Carta.

When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found
Jesus in the manager.

Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.

St. John, the blacksmith, dumped water on his head.

Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others
before they do one to you.

He also explained, "a man doth not live by sweat alone."

The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.

The epistles were the wives of the apostles.

One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.

St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony,
which
is another name for marriage.

A Christian should have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
From: "Judith Kirk" <Kirk@ucs5.cc.wmich.edu>
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Received on Fri Dec 3 10:20:37 1999