Re: [Mid] Out of the mouth of babes

Well, I just had my good laugh for the day! the unsympathetic Genitals and
the Battle of Geritol were my personal favorites :)
And Joan of Ark. Made an already good day better. :)
Siobhan nicInis

----------
>From: "Judith Kirk" <Kirk@ucs5.cc.wmich.edu>
>To: <THREEHILLS@HOME.EASE.LSOFT.COM>, <sca-middle@midrealm.org>,
<midlaurel@poet.minstrel.com>
>Subject: [Mid] Out of the mouth of babes
>Date: Fri, Dec 3, 1999, 9:19 AM
>

> This is offtopic I know, and I hope it doesn't offend anyone, but
> you know kids...they say the darndest things--M.Siobhan
>
> ***
>
> The following statements about the bible were written by children:
>
> In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of
> creating the
> world, so he took the Sabbath off.
>
> Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.
>
> Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.
>
> Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by
> night!
>
> The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had
> trouble
> with the unsympathetic Genitals.
>
> Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel
> like Delilah.
>
> Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened
> bread which is bread without any ingredients.
>
> The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses
> went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.
>
> The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
>
> The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
>
> Moses died before he ever reached Canada.
>
> Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
>
> The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to
> stand still and he obeyed him.
>
> David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought
> with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical
> times.
>
> Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
>
> When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the
> Magna
> Carta.
>
> When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found
> Jesus in the manager.
>
> Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
>
> St. John, the blacksmith, dumped water on his head.
>
> Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others
> before they do one to you.
>
> He also explained, "a man doth not live by sweat alone."
>
> The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.
>
> The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
>
> One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.
>
> St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony,
> which
> is another name for marriage.
>
> A Christian should have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
> From: "Judith Kirk" <Kirk@ucs5.cc.wmich.edu>
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From: "Melanie Johnson" <siobhan@itctel.com>
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Received on Fri Dec 3 12:16:47 1999