Re: [Mid] (OT) Horrible week at work!

> Yes, a catharsis is a good thing. It is a release, but what I think
> Saradwen was trying to say is that in her experience, that release for
> the family has always been a private thing, done prior to the supportive
> guests arriving. Having it the other way around may be just a Jehova's
> Witness thing, not necessarily cultural.

I am quite used to viewings where the family of the deceased has arrived
first in order to spend private time saying their respective farewells
before the other mourners and guests arrive so that they can be composed
and ready to receive the guests and thank them for coming. And another
thing that really bothered me was the near physical and emotional
collapse of the family when they arrived for the viewing. As a full
blown empath, it was very difficult to be witness to such utter
devastation of the family, and especially my poor co-worker who, along
with his sister, had to be nearly carried to his seat. His niece (his
sister's daughter) looked like she was going to be sick, and had to be
escorted to the ladies' room. The two older brothers were mercifully
composed compared to my co-worker and his sister.

It was all so terribly sad and awful, and it got me to wondering: my
co-worker (his name is David) is a devout Jehovah's Witness. We often
engage in lively and spirited discussions of theology, and in spite of
the fact that I do not agree with his beliefs, still, I hold him in great
respect for his devotion to his faith. And now, in David's darkest hour
of grief, it seems that his faith is not there to sustain him, given the
wailing and screaming I witnessed yesterday. And it makes me wonder if
this will cause him to question his faith, since he did not seem able
yesterday to lean on it for any strength. From reports, he is near
emotional collapse and that really scares me, because I love working with
him, talking to him, laughing with him and just having a good time at
work when we are working together.
 
> By the by, been to an Irish wake once. It was one of the best times
> because it was all done in love. When my friend Jackie died a few years
> ago, we friends threw her an Irish wake, (really long story as to what
> went on otherwise) and we all laughed and cried and it was good. Every
> November 22nd we all raise a pint to her, too. No particular tradition,
> just our way of remembering the good stuff.

We had an Irish wake for my grandfather, who passed away on St. Brigid's
Day, 1989. It was really fun and irreverant, and my grandfather would
have wanted it that way. My uncles were shocked, so when Grandmother
followed and died two years later on St. Patrick's Day, 1991, we had a
full blown funeral complete with viewing. In general, my family has
neither viewings nor funerals. When someone passes on, we throw a party,
remember the deceased, we laugh, talk and try to remember the good times
we had. So when grandma died and we had a viewing and a funeral, well, it
was mildly unsettling, although I have to admit in hindsight that it did
provide some modicum of closure to see her and say goodbye, which is
something we did not get to do with grandpa.

Diff'rent strokes, I guess...............

Lady Saradwen Ariandalen
Marche of Gwyntarian
(Akron/Kent, OH)
From: Sally Burnell <sburnell@acorn.net>
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Received on Fri Dec 3 13:14:38 1999