Re: [Mid] Out of the mouth of babes

Oh, this was just priceless!!! I had to share it with all my friends.
Thanks very much for all the chuckles! :)

Medb ni Ciaran MacMurchadha
Widow by Trade

-----Original Message-----
From: Judith Kirk <Kirk@ucs5.cc.wmich.edu>

Subject: [Mid] Out of the mouth of babes

>This is offtopic I know, and I hope it doesn't offend anyone, but
>you know kids...they say the darndest things--M.Siobhan
>
>***
>
>The following statements about the bible were written by children:
>
>In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of
>creating the
>world, so he took the Sabbath off.
>
>Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.
>
>Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.
>
>Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by
>night!
>
>The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had
>trouble
>with the unsympathetic Genitals.
>
>Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel
>like Delilah.
>
>Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened
>bread which is bread without any ingredients.
>
>The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses
>went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.
>
>The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
>
>The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
>
>Moses died before he ever reached Canada.
>
>Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
>
>The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to
>stand still and he obeyed him.
>
>David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought
>with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical
>times.
>
>Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
>
>When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the
>Magna
>Carta.
>
>When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found
>Jesus in the manager.
>
>Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
>
>St. John, the blacksmith, dumped water on his head.
>
>Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others
>before they do one to you.
>
>He also explained, "a man doth not live by sweat alone."
>
>The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.
>
>The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
>
>One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.
>
>St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony,
>which
>is another name for marriage.
>
>A Christian should have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
>From: "Judith Kirk" <Kirk@ucs5.cc.wmich.edu>
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From: dkmurphy@advant.net (Murphy, Deborah)
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Received on Fri Dec 3 13:20:36 1999