[Mid] Grief

    I suppose since we all have different ways of dealing with tremendous loss, it could be attributed to so many factors: one's personal belief or disbelief in an afterlife, one's initial emotional fortitude, and any past trials or tragedies one has for making comparisons. When my son was 10 and had his bone marrow transplant, I spent about 2 months in Ronald McDonald House in Minneapolis. There were units enough to hold about 30 families, and it was constantly full, although the tenancy changed frequently depending on cures, deaths, and new arrivals. It was an environment which encouraged very quick bonding of total strangers from all sorts of backgrounds and parts of the world. "We" lost about 2 or three children a week to their respective illnesses. The reactions were as diverse as snowflakes, but never before or after have I witnessed such open trust and generosity.
The oncology ward was especially designed for bone marrow transplant patients, which meant extreme isolation. There were times when the blinking lights, alarms, and announcements for "code blue" could be heard on what seemed like an hourly basis outside my son's room. My father was dying of cancer; but he and my mother managed to stay in MN long enough to see the transplant done; and transport my older son, the donor, back to Illinois. I look back in amazement at the strength of us all, especially my sons. They say that which does not kill you will make you stronger, and I believe that with all my heart. Consequently, I guess I appear to have a pretty thick skin when it comes to the death of someone close to me. I am more likely to shed tears because someone else is weeping, than out of my own grief, although I feel it just as keenly.

Medb

From: dkmurphy@advant.net (Murphy, Deborah)
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Received on Fri Dec 3 14:38:42 1999