Re: Polite Conversation (Was Re: [Mid] Andrew is not dead)

I would expect to hear about these details related to a person if: I were
considering dating someone who was a known woman-abuser, if someone knew me
and knew that my best friend was dating someone like that, if I were
considering said child-abuser for any job working with kids-instances like
that. Though I do agree that these crimes are not compatible with being a
king, prince, or Peer-royal or otherwise in the Society or any other SCA
title. But I believe that the best place to go when someone knows of the
crime is to the authorities-what good will it do to get said person stripped
of SCA titles if the abuse keeps happening? Anyone ever thought of the fact
that such action could make the abuse worse if the people aren't also
separated? Abusers have this nasty tendency to blame things like that on
their victims.
Siobhan
*flame privately please

----------
>From: duchessa@juno.com
>To: sca-middle@midrealm.org
>Subject: Re: Polite Conversation (Was Re: [Mid] Andrew is not dead)
>Date: Mon, Dec 27, 1999, 8:34 PM
>

> Thank you most sincerely, Lady Rosalyn.
> I do apologize to this list for sharing too much history. I didn't
> realize that the Middle Kingdom's populous had brought so much of the
> mundane world's indifference and hypocrisy to our Creative Anachronism.
> Yes, hypocrisy. The SCA extolls honor and chivalry but the people
> presently appear to want to see everything with rose colored glasses, not
> taking responsibility for keeping our Society chivalrous. Is it the
> responsibility of our Knights and Masters? Do they decide or do the
> people?
> Would you(plural) desire to close your eyes to a child abuser or a sex
> offender or a murderer who had withdrawn himself to avoid a Court of
> Chivalry and possible banishment, now returned? Who would you expect to
> warn you of this person and how would this warning be best accepted?
> Once aware of the dishonor, how does one act? Ignorance is bliss until
> yet another member gets hurt, and then, oh the indignation; "why weren't
> we told? why were they allowed back by those who knew? Their silence
> condoned the behavior".
> I am more than willing to be the Headlines. "Duchess Ann de Fountaine
> gets black mark for Calling a Spade a Spade". "Populous up in Arms,
> They'd rather not Know". In the SCA, the Chiv is the sword, the King is
> the mouth but the people guide the body and brain of SCA.
> Part of chivalry is respecting the other person. I respect your
> "informed" choice of forgive and forget but I feel it is every Peer's
> responsibility to inform. I feel that my responsibility to you, the
> people, is the same now as it was when I was on the throne. Part of
> chivalry is to look for the good in people; but when one is trying to
> return from dishonor, should there not be some consequence for actions,
> some remorse, at least an apology? If he has changed let him come back in
> the open, let him present himself in Court and face the Queen, explaining
> his "death". Will he be honest?
> Andrew dishonored himself in relation to the ideals the SCA aspires to
> when he beat the lady he presented as "Queen of Love and Beauty", and the
> Knights condoned it; and a few years later Lady Mistress Hibrida was
> beaten, and he's now a dead knight? Do SCA's ideals only apply to us
> when we are at events or do we truly try to live them in everything we
> say and do? Whose responsibility is it to protect our children and
> newbies who will be our leaders and Peers in years to come? Thirty years
> ago we created a dream......how close to our ideals will SCA be in
> another thirty years?
>
> D. Ann
>
>
> On Mon, 27 Dec 1999 16:26:02 EST CONNECT@aol.com writes:
>> Good Her Grace, Duchess Anne writes:
>>
>> << Being new to this list, Please instruct me in the rules of proper
>> conversation, what may or maynot be revealed or discussed. D. Ann
>> >>
>>
>> If Your Grace will permit me, I'd like to offer a suggestion. The
>> best sorts
>> of discussions for a mailing list are those you might have before a
>> collection of new people of your aquaintance. Many times you will
>> find,
>> people are seeking helpful advice, or wish to discuss how our
>> kingdom's
>> customs and manners differ from other realms, and such like. This is
>> also
>> where we talk of the day-to-day activities we all enjoy doing, and
>> generally
>> chat of fun times.
>>
>> If one is to delve into politics and nasty events of the past, it
>> seems to me
>> to be best to couch these things in generalities, until asked for
>> specific
>> details. You could consider this forum like unto a local newspaper.
>> If you
>> don't wish to read about yourself in a bad light in the headlines,
>> it is best
>> to not talk about others in a bad light, unless absolutely
>> necessary.
>>
>> One nice thing about the members of this list is that we have the
>> sense to
>> just ignore someone who comes in with the sole purpose of disrupting
>> the
>> conversation or smearing another with mud or worse. Periodically, a
>> gentle
>> will come forward with harsh words against a specific member of the
>> royalty,
>> but he only harms himself by posting the message(s) that he does.
>>
>> I hope these words of explaination have helped you to understand the
>> nature
>> of a mailing list--it's a public place where the slightest harsh
>> phrase can
>> do unintended harm.
>>
>> If I have given offense by my posting, please accept my apologies. I
>> was only
>> intending to be of useful service to Your Grace.
>>
>> Your humble servant,
>> Lady Rosalyn MacGregor
>> (Pattie Rayl)
>> From: CONNECT@aol.com
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>> its body.
>
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> From: duchessa@juno.com
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From: "Melanie Johnson" <siobhan@itctel.com>
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Received on Wed Dec 29 01:18:10 1999