Re: [Mid] Coming of age in the SCA

In a message dated 5/30/00 8:08:47 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
dkmurphy@advant.net writes:

> At any rate, I would like to hear more about what parents and caring folk
> in general, are thinking up to keep the kids entertained and interested at
> events.
> And thank you for all your input!
>

I was the local "Minister of Children" here in the Barony of the Fenix for
many (probably too many, in retrospect) years, as when we were having our
children, there really weren't any others in the group. We decided that if
we wanted to see it done, we would have to do it ourselves. I ran into two
problems. The first was the fact that since most of the other children in
the group for a long time were "babes in arms", there really wasn't a great
outcry for the kinds of activities I was planning. The second was that I
spent all of my time doing kid-stuff, and eventually I burnt out. Now that I
am venturing back "into the fray", I still find myself still drawn to
everything "child related", and I am cautiously considering getting back
involved with those types of activities. There are a few suggestions I would
like to make.

First of all, as parents it is really important to be supportive of whatever
gentil person is taking responsibility for children's activities. Whether it
is coming in to actively help, or just stopping by to update them on the list
or see how things are going, adult interraction and appreciation can make or
break a "child-o-crat". It is very easy to feel utterly invisible when you
are back in a room with the kiddies all day. Not that seeing their faces
light up when they complete a craft or watching their rapt attention as you
tell a story isn't rewarding. But "playing with the grown ups" is important,
too.

Another suggestion I would make is to plan ahead. You as a parent know what
your child is and isn't capable of, and what will and won't interest them. If
there are planned activities, take advantage of them. If the activities will
be sporadic, or will not continue throughout the day, plan for the inbetween
times by bringing as many games, toys, books, and ideas for activities you
can think of. You might make an SCA box for your children that only comes
out at events with special, themed activities that tie in to the event at
hand. If you have older children, find ways for them to get involved, and
make the SCA their own. Get the children involved in the planning
themselves, so they can feel part of the event and that their opinions
count.

I think the other guideline I would mention is to not assume the other adults
around you are willing to watch your kids and take responsibility for them
while you are busy. I have seen too many situations occur where some
well-meaning adult found themselves playing babysitter and resenting it.
Yes, there are often other adults who care about your children, and whom your
children may consider honorary aunts and uncles. Just try not to presume too
much on that relationship.

My personal favorite type of activity planning (speaking as "the once and
future Child-o-Crat" that I am) is to plan a full day for the children that
parallels the event for the adults. If the event is mainly an important
tourney, I would probably plan activities around chivalry, heraldry, honor,
and (if the local guidelines allow, following the proper prescribed safety
precautions) possibly having a boffer tourney. If the event has a specific
cultural theme, the activities for the children would also follow the same
theme. That way the children don't feel they are just being "babysat", or
just being kept busy away from mom and dad, but they are truly participating
in the event in their own way. (Plus, it is a fun challenge for me!) It
does depend on a lot of pre-planning (and pre-registering can save a lot of
headaches, so you know what to expect in terms of numbers and age ranges),
but I think it is a lot of fun.

Just my two bits....

Lady Muirne
From: Euphrates1@aol.com
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Received on Wed May 31 22:50:16 2000