Re: [Mid] A@S, Pennsic and Kids

I'm going to step in here and say something which will probably be
unpopular LOL.

As a parent of a 15 (soon to be 16) year old I would have to offer a
different opinion. I've not brought her to Pennsic in the past, but I find
myself recently single and the only family here I had was my in-laws. We
have not established if they are going to still take care of my daughter
while I go to Pennsic and my recent ex has left the building so to speak.
This means, atm, I have two choices, I can go to Pennsic and take her or
not go. The prospect of not going is heartbreaking to me, so I will take
her (not this year, the dates conflict with school) and we will do things
together and enjoy the vacation *together*. I will not do things that will
require me to leave her alone (unless she is sleeping, because she sleeps
like a rock!) or unless I can fight with her right there on the sidelines
(no woods battle for me), or there is an adult that I can arrange to be
with her while I am doing something else. Of course, I would not assume
that I can even have that option since everyone is on vacation and
"babysitting" is not part of most people's agenda on vacation. I will also
make sure that we volunteer together, so I can keep an eye on her and not
depend on others to police her.

That said, I'd rather have some Pennsic than no Pennsic and if I have to
make a few sacrifices, so be it.

AElfwyn

> I'm a parent of a teen and a preteen. It's my job to let them make
> mistakes and suffer the consequences of their decisions (to a point).
> IMO a teen who was given money for food for the week, and chose to
> spend it on other things, has purchased a golden learning opportunity.
> (And it's cheaper and safer at Pennsic than on the city streets.) As
> a parent, though, I'd be disinclined to send him off to beg. Rather,
> I'd take him around offering to sell his services as a water carrier,
> trash hauler, dishwasher, etc. He chose to squander his allowance?
> Let him earn his bread by the sweat of his brow, then. But I'd
> certainly keep close tabs on him.
>
> If a child hasn't seen a parent in over 24 hours, and that parent
> hasn't contacted event staff in a panic, I'd say it's time to call the
> county authorities. Child abandonment is a crime.
>
> Some of you may have heard me perform, "The Orphan's Song." Those
> children who find themselves orphans deserve the care and protection
> of the rest of us. But a "parent" who leaves a child to wander
> Pennsic alone so they can "play"?
>
> "Shameless", "irresponsible", "reprobate", "despicable",
> "contemptible"... they're all woefully inadequate, because a person
> who would abandon their child so they could "play" has no sense of
> shame or propriety to be offended, no conscience to be stung by any
> reproach.
>
> THL Brendan, the bard.
>
> On Wed, Jul 7, 2010 at 12:09 PM, Terry Broberg-Swangin
> <meistara_thorhalla_at_msn.com> wrote:
>> Thank you, Dirk!
>>
>> I raised two children in the SCA (they are now 27 & 18) and I refused to
>> take them to Pennsic.  In no way, shape or form is Pennsic
>> "family-friendly", no matter how you white-wash it.  There are too many
>> weirdos, too many drugs, too many people (male and female) walking
>> around in
>> clothes that are so indecent you won't even see them sported on Wal-Mart
>> shoppers, too much sex and too much booze for me to feel that my
>> children
>> were safe and in a "family-friendly" environment.
>>
>> Yes, they went to public school and saw all of this but I really didn't
>> want
>> my children witnessing this behavior in the SCA.  Period.  Add on to the
>> fact that Pennsic is not an SCA-exclusive event.  There are too many
>> other
>> people who aren't affiliated with the SCA that attend.
>>
>> I have been appalled at the idea that the SCA is responsible for
>> providing
>> entertainment for kids and that the SCA needs to help keep an eye on
>> them.
>> I have been in the SCA since 1984 and since those days I have witnessed
>> countless numbers of parents at Pennsic and at regular SCA
>> events abandon
>> their kids so they could go "play".  Now, before you all break out the
>> torches and pitchforks, I did not say that ALL parents do this, but I
>> have
>> seen a lot of them do this and will happily provide you with many
>> examples.
>>
>> Sure, it's an extra hassle to bring the kids but if you are going to do
>> the
>> SCA as a family, then do it as a family with mom and dad helping keep
>> the
>> kids amused at events.
>>
>> And there is nothing wrong with leaving the kids at Camp Grandma for a
>> week
>> and going to Pennsic yourselves.
>>
>> Meistara Thorhalla, soon to be an empty nester.
>>
>>> Date: Wed, 7 Jul 2010 11:38:18 -0400
>>> From: bluecat_at_neo.rr.com
>>> To: sca-middle_at_midrealm.org
>>> Subject: [Mid] A_at_S, Pennsic and Kids
>>>
>>> While I find myself a bit dismayed at the need to make this rule in the
>>> first place, I understand the reasoning behind it.
>>>
>>> I could also agree to a point that the SCA is over managed by lawyers-
>>> but then I think everyone would agree that there are too many lawyers
>>> looking for ways to make income by finding BS reasons for lawsuits. The
>>> SCA makes a good target- or so they think, even though it's not what I
>>> would call deep in the pockets.
>>>
>>> Good parents raise good kids- good parenting involves making your child
>>> recognize responsibility and the need for using good sense. Behavior is
>>> very seldom an issue at your regular SCA event. I have no qualms about
>>> correcting someones child when I think it's appropriate and forgive me
>>> for that trait, but it has been part of my career to correct the
>>> behavior of kids for years and years. I normally do not have to do that
>>> at a regular event- and its usually no more than getting a kid to think
>>> about something before they act. No harm- No foul.
>>>
>>> Where I find I have to be more proactive is at Pennsic. I do not see it
>>> as unreasonable for the SCA to ask for better supervision of kids- it
>>> was already there in the first place and has been. Pennsic is not an
>>> SCA
>>> member only event - Anyone can get in the gate. Pennsic has grown
>>> beyond
>>> 'SCA only' control to an event where any member of the great unwashed
>>> can pay lots of money to get in. It's become less medieval in some ways
>>> and more like a huge quasi medieval themed party, but that doesn't stop
>>> me from going. I'm not saying that I don't like parties but that's all
>>> some folks are there for- they could care less about the SCA or
>>> anything
>>> medieval.
>>>
>>> Do I want the teens to be able to go to classes? Of course I do! Do I
>>> think teens need that kind of adult supervision? No, I do not. When a
>>> child reaches 11 or 12 they can handle themselves pretty well. But
>>> there
>>> still is a supervision problem. The SCA can't be the parenting source
>>> or
>>> accept that kind of responsibility- nor should it be required to.
>>>
>>> Sadly- the good parents with good kids suffer the same fate as the ones
>>> who do not supervise well. I had to see to the needs of my kids at
>>> Pennsic before went out to play at things I wanted to do. If that meant
>>> less play time for me- that's the way it is, and being a responsible
>>> parent means you DO that. It's part of the job. But that isn't how some
>>> parents handle that problem- and that's not safe or good for their
>>> kids.
>>> Some of those folks who show up with their kids are NOT good
>>> responsible
>>> parents. It is best if the onus of supervision falls on the parents of
>>> kids to make the parents be responsive and responsible for their child,
>>> particularly when they are not doing so.
>>>
>>> I've seen younger children at Pennsic who desperately need baths, clean
>>> clothes, a drink, food, SLEEP, and adult attention because they have
>>> been hurt or sunburned. I met a kid of 7 last year who had not seen his
>>> mother in 3 days, did not know where she was, and was begging for food
>>> and drink from strangers. ( Of course I fed him and got him a drink. )
>>> I
>>> met a young teen who told me his parent told him to go out and beg for
>>> food and drinks because he had already spent the money the parent had
>>> given him for food for the entire event on other things and would not
>>> give him any more. He explained his father gave him the money- told him
>>> to take care of himself, and to meet him back at their camp at the end
>>> of Pennsic, so he had been on his own the entire time. I even met a
>>> child whose parents came to Pennsic but could not afford the cost of
>>> food at the event and had told their child to beg for money for meals
>>> and hoped that the kindness of others would see to their child's needs
>>> since they could not afford to be there. That child was willing to work
>>> for a meal which should have been provided by the parents. I do not
>>> know
>>> if all these parents were SCA members or not- and I do not care. This
>>> is
>>> simply wrong on all accounts. These are kids that could be victimized
>>> because they are vulnerable, and are being neglected and abused.
>>>
>>> The SCA is not responsible for parent supervision and should not be
>>> held
>>> responsible for it. Asking their parents to 'do the right thing' on
>>> class attendance is small compared to what could be asked for- or even
>>> worse- preventing kids from coming to Pennsic at all. So, before we
>>> condemn this rule with a very broad brush- let's keep the perspective
>>> on
>>> how much tighter things could be.
>>>
>>> Dirk Edward of Frisia
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> From: "bluecat_at_neo.rr.com" <bluecat_at_neo.rr.com>
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>>
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> From: corrie <corrie.bergeron_at_gmail.com>
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>

From: aelfwyn_at_gardenofithilien.net
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Received on Wed 07 Jul 2010 02:50:16 PM EDT